A Candid Portrayal of the Oddly Predatory Lyrics to the Classic Christmas Song ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’

In a really candid skit for Funny or Die, performers Casey Wilson and Scott Aukerman act out the disquietingly predatory lyrics to the classic Christmas song “Baby It’s Cold Outside“. The song, written in 1944, is performed a duet in which (usually) a man persistently persuades a (usually) a woman to stay, despite her concerns about the weather, familial obligations, her reputation and her own desire to leave.

(My mother will start to worry) Beautiful, what’s your hurry
(My father will be pacing the floor) Listen to the fireplace roar
(So really I’d better scurry) Beautiful, please don’t hurry
(Well, maybe just half a drink more) Put some records on while I pour

(The neighbors might think) Baby, it’s bad out there
(Say what’s in this drink) No cabs to be had out there
(I wish I knew how) Your eyes are like starlight now
(To break this spell) I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell

(I ought to say no, no, no, sir) Mind if I move in closer
(At least I’m gonna say that I tried) What’s the sense of hurting my pride
(I really can’t stay) Baby, don’t hold doubt
[Both] Baby, it’s cold outside

(I simply must go) Baby, it’s cold outside
(The answer is no) Baby, it’s cold outside…