I know children can be fun
And yours I’m very fond of it is true
The advantage is that when I grow weary of their noise
I can direct them back to you
I don’t want kids I just want pets
I can’t foresee that this will be one of my great regrets
Your kids are fine
cause they’re not mine
To me, a life without children sounds divine
Here’s an earlier version of the same song performed on banjolele.
Here’s a live version of the song performed in 2019 at the Craufurd Arms in Milton Keynes, England.