An Extremely Bombastic Arby’s Employee Recounts His Version of an Unfortunate Car Accident

Actor Andrew Bowser, who once portrayed fast-talking Satanist back in August 2015, made another notable appearance with his loquacious lexicon, this time portraying an employee of the fast-food chain Arby’s who witnessed an unfortunate accident at the restaurant.

Perhaps the end of days was upon us but it turned out it was just disoriented old lady in a champagne colored Toyota Avalon crashing into my world like DMB circa 1996. Who’s got their claws in you my friend. Into your heart I’ll beat again. … They were thrown eight to ten feet, their bodies tops skyward like rag dolls thrown into the air by the late great Andre the Giant. Appeared to be weightless hitting zero G like the fearless group forgotten Apollo mission whose only objective was to obtain a beef-n-cheddar classic and return home to Kathleen Quinlan safe before sundown.