Westlake Ace Hardware in Lenexa, Kansas has launched a rather brilliant tongue-in-cheek section on their website called the Zombie Preparedness Center. It provides shopping tips and advice on a variety of zombie-related topics (for humans, as well as zombies), including rot prevention and employment opportunities for the undead. They were awarded Zombie Friendly Business Certification by pro-zombie organization, Zombies Unite.
The comprehensive FAQ is worth a look. It answers important questions like, “If I’m a zombie, am I eligible to enter and win the monthly customer project contest?” (yes) and “Being a zombie has taken a toll on my mobility. Is there a way to help prolong the deterioration of my bones and joints?” (of course).
Recommended zombie-proofing includes fortified fencing to prevent wandering stragglers, which can lead to trampled gardens, unpleasant smells of rotting flesh and unexpected undead visitors in your home. It is also recommended that residents ensure locks are in good working order. If not, they should install replacement locks. Residents should check windows and screens for cracks and tears, and consider door alarms, which are noisy deterrents and great for early warning of zombie intrusions.
Many traditional tools used for routine home maintenance, such as cordless drills, chainsaws, hammers and nail guns, can also offer valuable protection against zombies. Westlake also has the supplies to handle zombie-related home maintenance needs, including lawn re-seeding, cleaners and detergents and window and screen repairs. Westlake also offers in-store services for window and screen repair for those who are less inclined to tackle the job themselves.
Thanks to Mark Johnson for the tip!
