In a eunice episode from his hilarious land and sea-focused video series True Facts, narrator Ze Frank shares the unique habits of a wide variety of seaworms. Throughout his explanation, Frank elegantly compared these creepy polychaete specimens to human male anatomy. The likeness is particularly obvious in the way these sand strikers pop in and out of their housings made of mud, gravel and/or coral.
They are referred to as Christmas tree worms or Spirobranchus giganteus. Given the fact that they are on average one-and-a-half inches, I’d say that’s a bit of hubris. If one-and-a-half inches is giganteus, trust me, I’ll be calling a part of myself very giganteus.
Frank also gets in a zinger about the similarity of these worms with certain residents who live in a certain Brooklyn neighborhood.
Imagine a bunch of Williamsburg hipsters that fell into a ball pit up to their mustaches and have to use them to capture kale chip crumbs and quin-hwaa. That is how the Christmas tree worm do.
Last but not least Frank declares victory for a lucky cephalopod who escaped the clutches of a particularly fierce Bobbitt worm.
Oh look an octopus! He got out! Octopus is not having none of that shit!