John Oliver Delivers a Heartfelt Message to the Southward Migrating Birds of the Northeast

In a short web exclusive to keep us fans mollified during the Last Week Tonight hiatus, host John Oliver delivered a heartfelt message to the birds of the northeast who will soon be commencing on their southward migration for the winter.

You listening birds? Here goes f*&%k you birds, f*&%k you. I hope you’ll never come back. To me every single bird is just a shitty sequel to the dinosaurs and we’ve been better off without you and yes I’m talking to you geese. You look like ducks that played football in high school and never stopped going to the gym. And you know what you’re not off the hook either parrots. What? I’m supposed to like parrots just because they can talk? Basically every human-being talks and I hate most of them…as for the rest of you the rest of you birds, i hope all you disgusting sky mice enjoy your tropical getaways while the rest of us face the frigid torment of winter.