Horrified Subway Executives Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs to Share With a Friend

The Onion News Network presents the satirical report that Subway restaurant executives were horrified to find out that the fast food chain’s foot-long sandwiches were being eaten by a single person rather than being shared between two people as they were designed. The report outlines the steps Subway will take to make it more clear that the sandwiches are intended for two or more people, and also includes measures by other fast food chains like Taco Bell and Burger King to specify the intended use of their products.