We can’t decide what we love more about Certified Virgin. Maybe it’s that we can use the service to retroactively restore virginity on our unsuspecting friends who had a really hard time losing it in the first place. Or perhaps it’s Certified Virgin’s disclaimer — because everything about virginity should have a disclaimer:
“I know that this certificate is for humor purposes only. It does not certify that I am a real virgin.”
Indeed. Purity rings are expensive; Certifiable Virginity only costs a dollar.