We’ll Never Be Rested, “Royals” by Lorde Re-Written for Tired Parents of Small Children

Author Joshua Stearns and wife Erica Carlson wrote new lyrics to the Lorde megahit “Royals” to express the trials and tribulations of being tired parents to small children. The re-write, We’ll Never be Rested, performed by their incredibly talented friend, Lisa Hillary, is a brilliant tribute to anyone who has ever cared for young children.

And every minute’s like diapers, Thomas, splashin’ in the bathtub
Juice stains, snack traps, screamin’ in the minivan
They don’t care, we can’t remember the last time we dreamed
But everybody’s like swaddles, white noise, sleeping with your baby
Warm milk, rocking, let them cry it out now
We don’t care, we haven’t slept in a couple years.

We’ll never be rested (rested)
Now that we have kids
That kind of luxe just ain’t for us
We gotta find a different kind of buzz
I drink my coffee (coffee), you can call me sleepy,
And baby I’ll sleep (I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep, I’ll sleep)
Let me live that fantasy.

via Jane S.

Lori Dorn
Lori Dorn

Lori is a Laughing Squid Contributing Editor based in New York City who has been writing blog posts for over a decade. She also enjoys making jewelry, playing guitar, taking photos and mixing craft cocktails.