The U.N. Commission on Costumes and Holidays Responds to Threatened Crackdown on “Flash Mob”-esque Events

In response to the threatened crackdown on the Pillow Fight and other “flash mob”-esque events, The United Nations Commission on Costumes & Holidays (UNCCH) has issued a response: the San Francisco Protocol on Abnormal Public Events.  I for one welcome their intervention in returning San Francisco to a state of normalcy in which life occurs in a restrained, non-threatening fashion.

“The time has come to bring abnormal public events (commonly referred to as “Flash Mobs”) under the soothing blanket of global bureaucracy (sic).  The alarming rise in messy “Trash Mobs” such as pillow fight are a clear warning to the International Community.  The response: the San Francisco Protocol on Abnormal Public Events, a clear framework for regulation of these events through strong yet gentle local and international oversight.  The UNCCH asks you to imagine a world in which these chaotic events are tamed, packaged, and decaffeinated.  The San Francisco Protocol will finally make this possible.”

Yours in the service of Humanity,
Commander EDW Lynch
UNCCH

In all seriousness, much can and has been said on the cost to the city, ethics of personal responsibility, and the time, place and manner of such public actions. I admire and respect individuals who seeking to define and create the culture in which they live.  I also value consistency.  If you attend, organize or even merely appreciate these events my question to you is thus: what do you want the city to do for you?

I want the city to continue its unique and amazing tolerance for actions like Pillow Fight because that is what makes SF home to me and many other freaks like you. So, along with taking responsibility for your events, I would implore you to take responsibility for your culture as well and politely email the following people with your thoughts:

– Seth Rosenfeld – San Francisco Chronicle Staff Writer
– Lisa Seitz Gruwell – San Francisco Recreation and Park Department
– Denis Kern – San Francisco DPW

Here is a draft letter for you all to riff upon when composing your own:

Dear XXXXX,

I have found your comments in the San Francisco Chronicle on the recent Pillow Fight to be exceptionally concerning.  Part of what makes San Francisco unique and a magnet for so many brilliant and creative individuals from around the world are these very events that you are threatening.  These events exhibit some of the best aspects of our city: a culture of tolerance, public expressions of joy and spontaneity, and an urban space that truly belongs to its inhabitants and neighbors.  Your threatened crackdown is a challenge to that which makes our city special, that which draws the talent that fuels our economy, and that which improves our collective quality of life.  I strongly suggest significant reconsideration from you and your supervisors before taking any further action that might suppress San Francisco’s robust, magnetic and beautiful freak culture.

Sincerely,
Your Name Here

See Previously: San Francisco Might Try to Shut Down Pillow Fight & Other Events

photo by Dave Young