Fine Print That’s Worth Reading – The FastMac TruePower Battery

photo by Audrey Penven

Whenever I attend MacWorld Expo I always make a point of dropping by the FastMac booth, both to check out whatever nifty new accessories they’ve cooked up (like a case that turns your iPhone into a universal remote or a standard wall socket with integrated USB charging outlets) but also to watch their founder, Abbi Vakil, in action.

Abbi is a big character: a born showman with a great sense of humor, who loves showing off his latest creation, whether it’s a funny t-shirt, or an energy-absorbant laptop sleeve. (This year, he was enthusiastically demonstrating the efficacy of the latter by repeatedly whacking M&M’s and iPhone screens with a hammer, all of which emerged from the sleeve unharmed.)

I decided to buy one of FastMac’s USA-made TruePower Batteries, as the stock battery in my MacBookPro was overdue for replacement. Opening the package later I was treated to another example of Abbi’s sense of humor, as seen on the battery’s somewhat unorthodox fine print:

Dispose of properly (or Mother Nature’s gonna whack us all!) This battery contains no Mercury, Mars or Venus. Each battery is tested before shipping. No animals were harmed during testing – unless you consider Paul in QA ;-) WARNING: To reduce risk of fire or burns, avoid Sony or Dell laptops and do not disassemble, crush, puncture or short the contacts. TM & ©2009 FastMac. All rights reserved. All other brand names & trademarks belong to their respective owners. If you have read this far, please consider applying for a job in our legal dept

photo by Audrey Penven

Thus far, the battery has performed perfectly. No word yet on my application as Chief Legal Counsel.