It’s been a while since we last had a cheap booze taste-off, and boy
was it off-tasting. In fact, that was back on September 11, 2001
(anyone remember that date?) at Toxic Tire Beach. So it’s time to once
again round up the latest batch of malt liquors, fortified wines, and
other industrial solvents to stress our livers in the name of gathering
empirical data. But to make it official, we’ll need lab coats and
clipboards, just to be, you know, scientific and shit.
We’ll conduct blind taste tests to see if Mickey’s really does pack
more of a wallop than Olde English, revisit the Smirnoff Challenge, and
study the exothermic properties of any liquor over 120-proof. Help us
investigate what’s really going on in that weird B^^E stuff. If you’ve
got laboratory glassware, bring it along to ensure accurate test
results. Also, scour the local thrift joints for appropriate attire,
and don’t forget your protective oxygen helmet in the event of a fume
Gather reagents at the corner ethanol supplier ($1.99 Out The Door!), unless you work for Spock Mountain Research Labs, in which case you can provide your own research material.
Here’s a list of previous Tuesday Dive Bar events.
photo by Alex O’Leary
UPDATE: Here are the lab results and photos.