Mike The Headless Chicken for President

The president America needs right now has the least brain per pound of any candidate. With only a sliver of brain stem, Mike the Headless Chicken can focus on only the most important autonomic issues–eating, walking around, and “elimination”. That’s what we need.

As previously reported in The Straight Dope, Mike the Headless Chicken was a real chicken he survived a scalping and lived for a year and a half. And he could do it again, if he gets your vote!

Today his home town of Fruita, Colorado holds a day in his honor, including a 5K Run Like a Headless Chicken Race. I am not making that up.

Here’s the extended history of Mike: