Lolly Adefope Reads an Amusing Series of Letters About the Gifts From ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’

During a Letters Live event, English comedian and actress Lolly Adefope read “The Twelve Days of Christmas (Correspondence)” by John Julius Cooper, 2nd Viscount of Norwich, which contained a hilarious series of letters written by one Miss Emily Wilbraham to her beloved Edward.

The series of letters you are about to hear tell a festive yet tragic tale of love, misjudged romantic gestures, and an alarming number of birds.

The letters start off thanking Edward for his thoughtful, albeit unusual gifts of a partridge in a pear tree, two turtle doves, three French hens, four calling birds, and five golden rings. Things get a little testy when she receives six geese a’laying.

30th December

Dear Edward,

Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking great geese laying eggs all over the doorstep. Frankly, I rather hoped you had stopped sending me birds – we have no room for them and they have already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but – let’s call a halt, shall we?
Love, Emily

While she tolerated the birds, Emily found herself at the end of her rope with the delivery of eight maids a’milking, nine ladies dancing, and ten Lords a’leaping.

3rd January

As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing about all over what used to be the garden -before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it; and several of them, I notice, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbours are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again.
Emily

Emily engaged a solicitor (attorney) to speak with Edward before the last of the gifts from “The 12 Gifts of Christmas” was delivered. The solicitor, played by Asim Chaudhry, was very stern in his warning.

Sir
Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform
you that with the arrival on her premises a half-past seven
this morning of the entire percussion section of the
Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra and several of their friends
she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction
to prevent your importuning her further. I am making
arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.
I am, Sir, Yours faithfully,
G.CREEP
Solicitor-at-law