Zombie-Claus 2005

Well it was bound to happen. Two of the biggest mob memes, santas and zombies, will finally come crashing together this Friday, December 16th at Zombie-Claus 2005, which takes place in Ypsilanti and Ann Arbor, Michigan. This is the best thing to come along since zombies and coffee.

It has come to our attention that the North Pole and the international Mall-Santa training grounds (IMSTG) have been attacked by the undead. The arrival of the undead into these areas of normal holiday cheer has caused a mass revolt of Santas around the world.

“As Santas become the undead their perspectives about Christmas have changed. They are now protesting the over commercialization of the Christmas holiday and it’s encroachment into the traditional Zombie holiday of Halloween” — Stated the IMSTG president in exile, Claude H. Smoot.

To date, Zombie-Claus have been spotted in the Canadian provinces and are making their way south and should hit the bordering states sometime in the next few weeks. The people of Southeastern Michigan should be particularly concerned. There have been unconfirmed reports that an organized gathering of Zombies is scheduled for sometime in December.

As the Zombie-Claus attack their population is increasing greatly. Besides the Zombie-Claus there have been confirmed sightings of Zombie-elves and Zombies that appear as if they have been caught in the middle of a Christmas shopping spree. Nobody is safe from these attacks and all trips to shopping districts in December should be done so with caution.

Please help to get the word out, Lives need to be saved.

UPDATE: Here’s a follow-up report from Zombie Claus 2005 organizer Mark Maynard.