In the animated video “How To Be Warm“, the highly insightful School of Life explains that the difference between warm and cool personalities boils down to a differing view of human nature. While the cooler personality is assumed to be more formal and proper, the warmer personality seems to be more casual and aware of how they would feel if they were in the same situation.
Broadly, the cold person is operating with an implicit view that those they are attempting to please are creatures endowed only with the highest needs. ….that they will be strong, self-contained and mature enough not to have any hunger for reassurance or cosiness and that they will be without urgent physical vulnerabilities and drives, which might prove deeply offensive if they were mentioned. Yet, the warmly polite person is always deeply aware that the stranger is (irrespective of their status or outward dignity) a highly needy, fragile, confused, appetitive and susceptible creature. And they know this about the stranger, because they never forget this about themselves.