Gas Masked Comedian Speaks in Metaphors to Explain the State of the World to Her January 2022 Self

Comedian Julie Nolke, who has been continually attempting to explain the near future to different versions of her past self throughout the pandemic, visited her January 2022 self to talk about current events with just a slight mention of the pandemic. The fact that the current self wore a gas mask to their meeting spoke volumes to the past self.

Past Julie: Does this really feel like the type of situation where entering in a gas mask is a good idea?

Current Julie: I don’t know.I thought it might lighten the mood.

PJ: Geez. I thought we were in world War III.

CJ: We are. Well, maybe?

The current version of Nolke also spoke of current events in pizza metaphors without wanting to give away too much information.

CJ: Okay. So let’s say you order a pizza. It arrives at your door. It’s got pineapples on it. …You didn’t order pineapple. It was a mistake. It was an accident. The rule is now: You can’t take them off.

PJ: But I didn’t order that.

CJ: Yeah, but the government says you can’t take it off.

PJ: Well, can we get someone else to take them off?

CJ Absolutely not. You’d both be arrested.

PJ: Okay. What if I was allergic to pineapple? What if the outcome of me eating that pineapple was death? I could take them off then.

CJ: Survey says no.

PJ: The government wants to control my pizza?