Chicken John Is Looking for a Contact at PayPal

Chicken John is desperately trying to find someone he can talk to who works at PayPal. He just sent this out to his mailing list:

Does anyone know anyone who works at Paypal and can walk down the hallway to the legal department in a low cut blouse and say: “Oh. Hi there. A dear, dear friend of mine is having an issue getting the city of San Francisco to authenticate funds from Paypal. I’d do anything to help my friend. Or anyone who helped him…” then you pout and slink away like a slinking slinker. They can come over my house later and watch GG Allen videos and drink PBR.