Dystopic Horizons Realty, Affordable Artist Housing

In times of challenging economic crisis, San Franciscans have always responded with a creative optimism that reflects the can-do attitude of our Gold Rush predecessors, who happily sifted and squatted in filth day in and day out to find the one nugget that would launch them into Pac Heights riches. Or, the plucky pets.com survivors who learned to serve coffee at Starbucks with a smile while sniffing out VC for their inflatable furniture patch kit venture, or crafting colorful “will repaint Webvans for food” signs.

These times have returned, and while East Coasters might be erecting monuments In Loving Memory Of The Boom Economy or painting the Wall Street bull’s balls blue, some very real estate savvy habitat imagineers have embarked on a cutting edge solution to our depressed economy and the local housing crunch. Dystopic Horizons Realty has the answer: “Finally, affordable “near loft” like Artist Housing, right here in the Bay Area, now!” They tell us,

Each inspired live/work unit is hand-crafted, and capable of magnificent views. The loft-like Cubist floorplan allows convenient interior access and customized storage solutions. Green construction and copious natural lighting and ventilation support ecologically responsible living. (…) Basic models available starting in the mid 100s.

We are a group of unreal estate unprofessionals with over 40 years of experience. We know the Bay Area market, from recherché under utilized lots with spectacular urban views to charming pied-à-terres with super easy freeway access. We are well versed in working with artistic temperaments and the demands of the Creative Professional. We work hard to exceed your expectations and help you meet your housing needs.

“It’s not a cardboard house… it’s a cardboard home.”

We’re excited to see that even in the face of widespread layoffs and what looks like another dot-com boom hitting our fair Bay Area shores that our locals can always cash in on the remains of the day. Don’t wait for your Castro foreclosure; agents are standing by with a prime piece of real estate pie, complete with a cozy box you can finally call your own.

images via Dystopic Horizons Realty