The Complete Social Media Douchebag

by Scott Beale on June 17, 2009 · 4 comments

Social

Learn how to increase your Twitter followers by eleventy-billion in 3.68 seconds at The Complete Social Media Douchebag.

Tip #128: Always tweet in all-caps. BECAUSE CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE-CONTROL FOR AWESOME!

Tip #138: Learn how to auto-DM your way into their hearts and wallets!

Tip #268: Every other tweet should be about how people can increase their followers. They’ll thank you for it!

via Doctor Popular

Here Are A Few Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

- The Social Media Guru

- Fortune On The Increasing Role of Social Media at Conferences

- Social Media in Plain English by Common Craft

- Psychological Disorders Affecting Bloggers & Social Media Addicts

- I/You Am/Are The Media

filed under Social Media, Twitter

Written by Scott Beale

Scott has written 5044 posts on Laughing Squid.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 nick gonzalez June 17, 2009 at 1:34 pm

This is hilarious because it’s true.

Reply

2 Mike Mueller June 17, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I know this guy – He just started following me on Twitter. I’m downloading his eBook right now.

Reply

3 Corey Ehmke June 17, 2009 at 7:34 pm

Too complicated. I prefer the simple 4-step program at http://www.socialmediatrocity.com/ because it tells me what to tweet. (Too bad I didn’t get that blurb from Cthulhu, though.)

Reply

4 Bob Calder June 18, 2009 at 5:07 am

But seriously, how are we going to explain to the kids that spamming Twitter isn’t a socially acceptable way to make money?

One of my kids (I’m a teacher) told me he is “Monetizing his Twitter stream.” ARGH! Of course I said spam by any other name is still spam and that it won’t work. They don’t get how influence and economics are entwined the same way some people are better salesmen. Hmm maybe that’s a good explanation.

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