Breaking: Zombie Attack & Containment Operation Tomorrow

by Scott Beale on October 10, 2007 · 6 comments

Zombies Invade San Francisco!

Information has just been posted to San Francisco Zombie Mob about a Zombie Attack & Containment Operation scheduled for 7:30pm tomorrow, Thursday, October 11th at the main San Francisco Public Library. The zombie convergence is set to coincide with the San Francisco Mayoral debate taking place in the library.

URGENT ALERT: Thanks to Professor Grenzfineski’s recently installed EEW* system, we have detected a sudden upsurge in undead activity throughout the city. Another attack is IMMINENT.

But rather than passively wait in fear, we are striking back! With the Professor’s assistance, a zombie homing beacon has been hastily assembled and installed at the Main Library’s north-western corner on Larkin Street, by Fulton.

The Double L Gyratory Undead Attractor

The Double L Gyratory Undead Attractor (Location on Google Maps)

This device will be switched on TOMORROW night, Thursday the 11th, at PRECISELY 7:30pm. Once activated, the undead hordes will be unable to resist its pull, and will gather immediately at its base, where we will attempt to neutralize them before they can once again terrorize our fair city.

NOTE: Great care must be taken with this operation, as a San Francisco Mayoral debate will be taking place in the Main Library. If we are unable to contain the zombies, it is highly likely that they will turn their attention to the hundreds of citizens exiting the debate at 7:45, whom, though disenfranchised, are not disembrained, and may thus prove irresistible to the shambling cerebrophiles. (Thankfully, zombies DO NOT attack or otherwise harass innocent bystanders. Their moans and sheer numbers are more than horrifying enough.)

Once the zombies have successfully been contained, we will transport them via bus to a secret location, where they will be provided with complimentary embalming fluid.

(* Eerie Early Warning: A city-wide network of sensors, cleverly calibrated to detect the presence of re-animated necrotic tissue. And, occasionally, ducks. But he’s working on that.)

photo by Scott Beale & SFMike (Double L Gyratory)

Here Are A Few Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Mayoral Debate & Zombie Attack Photos

How To Survive a Zombie Attack, In Plain English

Attack of the Zombie Girls

Zombie-Claus 2005

Twestival SF, A Fundraiser for Operation Smile

filed under San Francisco

{ 2 trackbacks }

Mayoral Debate & Zombie Attack Photos | Laughing Squid
October 12, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Scientists Discover the Undead in the Tropics : Environmental News
December 7, 2007 at 3:08 am

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Ian Whalen October 10, 2007 at 7:08 pm

Shameless promotion: for any east coasters who occupy that horrific void between living and dead, Zombiecon is fast approaching in New York as well. October 20th is the day that the dead are rumored to walk the streets in search of brands, brains, and bloody marys. Information on what time the undead hordes will congregate and where they will do so is to be given out shortly before the day itself. Anyone can jump on the email list at http://www.zombiecon.com.

Reply

2 halfvoid October 11, 2007 at 9:47 pm

i got some good footage from it. i’ll be uploading it just like the billions of other people taking pictures on flickr and my blog here shortly.

flickr.com/photos/halfvoid

voidovertwo.blogspot.com

Reply

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