Report Suggests Bored Scientists Now Just Sticking Random Things Into Large Hadron Collider

The Onion reports that bored scientists have resorted to sticking random things into the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest and most powerful particle accelerator.

One year after confirming the existence of the Higgs Boson, or “God Particle,” scientists at CERN say they are struggling to find other uses for the giant particle accelerator.