Hurricane Ashley Was Expected To Strike Several Bars During Cinco De Mayo

The Onion reports that Hurricane Ashley was expected to strike several local bars during the Cinco de Mayo celebration. Fueled by flavored vodka shots, the storm is expected to merge with her BFFs and hit up to eight bars during the day.

The screaming whirlwind of drunkenness has been gathering strength all week and has already made a mess of herself in a number of local bars.