In celebration of the premiere of Game of Thrones on HBO this past Sunday, Wallace the Mad Bunny King hopped off his carrot throne and conquered his cardboard Red Keep, disturbing the dormant subjects who were made utterly helpless against the insane rabbit king.
Wallace’s rule over the Red Keep began with great promise. He surrounded himself with wise and vigorous advisors (alWmost exclusively comprised of his turds and hairballs) and effectively crushed the Raisin Rebellion soon after becoming king. However, Wallace almost immediately spiraled into madness when he realized that his castle was made of cardboard and his throne of carrots. He experienced vivid hallucinations, hearing voices in his head that told him to either chew on or fully eat every object in his presence. Rumor was that he had hidden “wildfire” around our apartment in order to transmute into a dragon through a fiery baptism but I am pretty sure that didn’t happen. In the end, when Wallace looked around and saw what his insane hunger had wrought, his joy definitely turned to ashes in his mouth.
Wallace has certainly come a long way from his early days of being a serving bartender.
