*looks up places to rent a chicken suit*

Always be prepared for either outcome, I say…

Read the bet, I'm only getting warmed up. 13 months and 5 days to go until Chicken John has to give the JKTF $1K and me an essay.

nope, the Paul Addis thread is perhaps the longest thread by a mile, this one needs a few hundred post to surpass that one.

Epic. *rolls eyes*

I'm too full of Turkey to think of anything more this week, standby I'll be back with more concepts Monday.

Crossing Ommm Line
When: During ING Bay to Breakers
What: A line of people in running gear w/B2B numbers on them sitting in the lotus position, “Ommming” across Fell Street at the top of the hill (which is the half way point of B2B, I believe.) They just sit there and “ommm” while people have to navigate around them. They make room if anyone wants to stop and “ommm” with them.

Note: This could probably only last until the actual runners pass and when floats start coming through.

Waiters on Wheels
When: During “rush hour” on a Friday — when people are getting out of work — 5-6pm-ish
What: Like Critical Mass meets Food Not Bombs.
Objective: Feed people en masse and cause a scene.

Logistics of route: Route of this task would start at the Ferry Building in the Embarcadero and end at the Ferry Building in the Embarcadero. The mob route would move up Market Street to Civic Center, then up Hyde Street to O' Farrell. Route continues down O'Farrell to Market, ending where it began.

Description: Participants dressed in full waiter garb (pants, tie, apron, towel over their arm) with a backpack full of food, a tray and a menu of what they are “serving” move en mass through the route on “wheels.” Preferably skateboards or roller skates/roller blades, so it's easier to stop; but, bikes would also work. Even people on foot pulling wagons would be cool. Whenever someone regards them they stop and ask the person “Can I take your order sir/madam?” They then present their menu, let the person choose what they want from their selection and serve it to them on the tray. Participants should make particular effort to stop and ask homeless people if they can take their order, taking particular care to serve them with extreme kindness and formality.

Participants are responsible for providing their own food, etc. Ideally people would prepare things that were pre-packaged and easy to serve. It could be as simple as fruit or a sandwich; as complex as something gourmet and “plated;” as easy as a bunch of take out burritos split up into smaller portions. The idea is that everyone should have at least two options. And, their individual menu should be hand made and pretty. Bonus points if they provide a beverage with the meal.

There is a why, but it's elusive… could be to show that everyone should be able to have elegance and dignity in their lives. Could be to demonstrate how a dedicated group of people with few resources can feed many. It could be just to cause a scene.

There should be some musicians on wheels, too – to provide the proper ambiance of a fancy restaurant.

I'll be back in a minute to recap a bit…

PREPARE FOR DOOOOOM!
;)

Event Title: LeperCon™ (Saint Patrick's Day)

Description:

Use the template of Santarchy/Santacon, exchange themes with a differing holiday (Saint Patrick's Day)

Hordes of drunken leprosy infected leprechauns; wrapped in filthy pustulent (green) bandages will invade various cities on Saint Patrick's Day, distributing Irish insults along with prosthetic rubber snakes & engage in xenostereotypical behavior. Zombie “mobs” may be recruited as servants (lore includes the belief that Patrick raised people from the dead)

At some point the group (concealing hidden bottles of green dye) will seek out the nearest water bearing fountain type monument & proceed to bathe, releasing the green dye, “tainting” it with “leprechaun leprosy puss” rendering the water non-potable. Reference the Biological warfare technique of poisoning an enemy’s water supply: “The Roman commander Manius Aquillus poisoned the wells of besieged enemy cities in about 130 BC”

• Wear filthy green puss ridden bandages along with stereotypical “soiled” leprechaun attire
• Pin a shamrock to “naughty” regions
• Speak with a mumbling brogue (Irish, if possible)
• Drink Irish beer and spirits

How novel.

Is this based on or related the Cacophony Society “Penny Parade” (18th year)?

Photos:

http://flickr.com/photos/ari/sets/7215761001662…

Info:

No need to count all the copper coinage in your penny jar – bring it to Haight Street and join us as we throw our money away in this street theater abundance ritual. Sow the seeds of good luck leaving by lucky pennies for people to find. Spare change the passers-by (offering, of course!).

Join us in singing “Pennies From Heaven” and other overly optimistic Depression-era ditties (or rather, ditties from the LAST depression since it’s 1929 all over again!).

Bevies of tap dancing, copper-lamé clad showgirls/boys performing lavish synchronized Busby Berkeley-style production numbers are always encouraged to attend, but somehow never actually materialize.

Crowd screams: “IT”

Organizer asks: “When do we want IT?”

Crowd screams back: “WHENEVER!”

Whenever someone asks a member of the crowd what they are protesting they say “IT!” Whenever someone asks what a crowd member believes in they say “Whatever YOU do!” We will have signs saying “we are anti-colostomy” and “meaning means nothing” and “we want IT WHENEVER” and people will hear us. There will be disciples of “whatever” whipping themselves mercilessly with strands of glass and leather for doubting “IT.” And we stay there allllll night. Chanting and playing drum & bass.

This will happen in the name of WHATEVER at your place at an unpublished hour.

Prepare for doom.

Love n' Kisses,
Kate & Bonnie

1.) Each one has a reason behind it, they hardly seem stupid and unnecessary at all.

2.) There's no alcohol involved.

On the upside, it took 8 years, but somebody finally managed to make the screeds I used to post on SF-CACO seem moderate and restrained.

Event Title: “Critical mAsshole”

Target audience: Critical Mass participants, Motorist & other pedestrian sympathizers

Description:

A Horde of pedestrians (perhaps one hundred or more) on foot, with various noisemaking tools, sandwich boards, picket signs & any other applicable ephemera will gather & descend upon several strategically located intersections to disrupt/interrupt bicycle traffic during the infamous Critical Mass bicycle parade/vehicle protest. Each phalanx will have its own team of 2-5 captains armed with bullhorns to both control & lead the division of pedestrians in absurd chants focused at “caged” bicyclist.

Various “phalanx team” themes will be established to uniform & code each group. Refer to the “How Berkeley Can You Be Parade” Cacophony teams as inspiration. Each “theme” can be an overblown stereotype as parody.

Example starter themes:

1) Fascist meter maid/street beat cops (handing out offence tickets to safety “infractors”)

2) Bridge & tunnel downtown business types (perhaps some missing limbs, clutching miscellaneous bike parts as if in post-collision

3) Homeless “street types” clutching scraps of shrubbery and tree branches to “hide” behind or use as a barrier

4) Mimes (miming an invisible wall to contain oncoming critical mass bike horde)

5) San Francisco stereotypes: Hippies, punks, burners, santas, bunnies, etc.

6) Clowns Gold/Silver street performers

7) Resurrect “Fascist Vegans”

Reference San Francisco (& other) Cacophony events:

“Fantasia Protest”
“How Berkeley Can You Be Parade” Cacophony (PETA) Meat float
“Santarchy & Santacon”

Objective:
The primary objective of this event is to illustrate a point to Critical Mass participants (& by fortunate default via fallout, motorist) the ill effect they (Critical mass) may have on slower, lesser equipped brethren –pedestrians. This objective may be achieved via protesting the prankster protesters with a similar vehicle of disruption. (Doling out a dose of reflective medicine to those that dish it out once every month)

Motivation: On many occasions it has been experienced first hand & witnessed by many pedestrians the sometimes dangerous disregard “rogue” participants of critical Mass have on unwary street denizens and walkers.

The non-violent, absurd & jovial atmosphere established by the San Francisco Cacophony Society must be maintained at all times, carried out & encouraged by the bullhorn wielding phalanx captains.

I, the almighty and powerful Chicken John, to herby bet that you, Dork-queen of the binary code, can not come up with an implementable culture jam-jam Cacophony-style event. Period. Not to implement one, because that would require you to leave your chair. Leave implementation to me. The wager is that you can not and will not come up with an idea. An original idea for an event. The catch is that this event can’t be slammed by the high and mighty politically correct or the jaded and cynical. And I will be prudent and defer to the will of the people on the judging. If you so engineer this event, I will execute this event of course… but it will be judged on it’s MERITS as an IDEA, not by it’s trial by fire.

This is in response to the slam dunking of a certain pranksters imprudent and wasteful use of tomatoes. It was said that his event was bla bla and bla bla bla… but no matter. The details are un-important. The meat of the matter is that the ration of idea is at an all time low. Not for lack of brains to come up with ideas, but for lack of a vehicle to get the ideas out of people’s brains and onto the pavement, where they belong. I implore you to do just this, and will reward the charity of your choice $1,000 of fundraised money. I have fundraised probably over a million dollars to date, so do not insult me by saying that I will not do exactly as I say. Instead, please insult me for any of the other shortcomings I have and they are plentiful and obvious. Starving people, medical relief, cancer, little children who can’t read so good… $1,000 towards any of these humanitarian efforts, to turn a bich-fest into art. Because that’s what I do.
If you fail to come up with this event by the bong of the new year 2010, you will pay me exactly 1,000 donuts of a varied sort… delivered to the event of my choice.
So I say to you, dear Kate Kotler…. do we have a bet?

Chicken John

And it responds….

Yes, Chicken John we do have a bet. And, I sweeten the pot by saying that if I do not come up with a decent idea in a year’s time I will deliver those donuts to you in a chicken suit and volunteer at your event. Should I win you will write me an essay, to be published on the blog of my choosing, on how people should think more carefully about the image they portray of our City when crafting events/that there are many different ways of “doing” and just because mine is different than yours doesn’t make it any less valid AND you’ll donate $1K (which I’m happy to help you fundraise) to the James Kim Tech Foundation in both our names.
Three ideas which have been submitted for consideration to the Chicken himself are below the cut, enjoy…

We Would Like Whirled Peas, Please!
Date: November 17, 2009
Where: Starts at Lucky 13, ends in Castro Safeway
What: Gather at Lucky 13 dressed in traditional 60’s Summer of Love/Hippy gear, march together to the Safeway Castro chanting “We would like Whirled Peas, please, we would like Whirled Peas!”
Why: International Peace Day is annually held on November 17th. San Francisco is internationally known as one of the epicenters of the peace movement. It would be a small demonstration that the desire for world peace is still alive here, yet silly because the chant would be based off of the famous bumper sticker “Visualize Whirled Peas.” It would end in a grocery store, because where else would you get whirled peas?
Find a Penny, Pick It Up and A Penny For Your Thoughts
Date: Any busy Saturday at noon
Where: Union Square
What: Part 1: Participants gather at Union Square, milling around like nothing’s going on. At noon the organizer of the event – very obviously – scatters $10 of pennies onto the ground and participants say “Find a penny, pick it up and all the day you’ll have good luck!” They then pick up a penny.
Part 2: Participants then approach strangers (tourists, shoppers, families, etc.) and offer them their penny saying “A penny for your thoughts?” If the strangers won’t talk or get sketched participants might say, “We just thought it would be nice to say hello and ask you how your day is.”
Why: Minimal concept of “spreading the wealth,” encouraging people to be positive (ie: lucky) and welcoming to visitors to SF. Also encouraging communication and listening.
Happy Birthday, Winnie the Pooh!
Date: January 18, 2009 at noon (or on a subsequent Saturday if this date falls on a weekday when parents might be working)
Where: Golden Gate Park Children’s Playground
What: Participants gather at the carousel in the Golden Gate Park Children’s Playground. Organizer, in a big Winnie the Pooh costume, brings a big ass Winnie the Pooh cake (or, cupcakes or brownies or some tasty treat, maybe donuts?) At noon the participants sing the Winnie the Pooh song , encouraging parents to bring their children over to sing with them. Once the song is over the organizer leads the crowd in singing “Happy Birthday to You” to A.A. Milne and Winnie the Pooh, then passes out treats.
Why: A.A. Milne’s birthday is January 18th. Winnie the Pooh is one of the most beloved children’s characters of all time. This event would pay tribute to children’s literature, encourage families to participate in wacky-fun San Francisco culture and would involve cake… need I say more?

I will respond with the nuclear assault in a day or so. For now, please enjoy the show. As you can see, comming up with an ORIGINAL idea isn't really easy. Or possible, probably. The 3 events we have on display here are certainly not slam dunk, original or even Cacophony Events, really… I will defer, of course to 'the people'.

What do the people think of Winnie the Poo or Whirled pea? Please, share your thoughts…