Graham MacIndoe, a Scottish-born New York City-based photographer, turned the cameras inward, documenting himself while he was in the throes of an addiction to heroin. The resulting photos are heartbreaking, grim and strangely fascinating, all at the same time. Sitting down to an interview with reporter and ex-girlfriend Susan Stellin for New York Magazine, Graham opened up about his drug use, their relationship, how he got clean in 2010 and the ever-looming possibility of relapse.
Yeah, I think people talk about relapse all the time. And people do relapse — people give up smoking and they start again, people lose weight and put weight back on. That’s relapse. Anything where you go back to your former way of living is a relapse. It’s just that with drugs, it’s much more destructive and much more looked at under a microscope. But what I’m trying to say is that the rewards are so big that it far outweighs anything that drugs ever gave you. Because when you’re on drugs, you never think you’re going to be able to get back to where you were or anywhere close to living a normal life. And you can — not real easy, but you can. Things are never going to be the same depending on the extent of your addiction and what you went through. But it can be doubly fulfilling and it can be totally enlightening and it can be life-changing. It has been for me. I mean, my priorities are all different now.
images by Graham MacIndoe